bothfoulandfair | six ❅ video & spam

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six ❅ video & spam

[It's - for the most part - unusual to see Elsa out of her room. She still keeps to herself, making her rounds from the dining hall to the library and then back to her room for most of the rest of the day.

But right now, she's out on deck, still in her more conservative, darker clothes instead of her ice dress, and she's apparently just watching the stars and the snow falling. It doesn't seem as heavy as it had been when she'd first arrived here, although she's always sort of wondered if her usual anxiety has done something to make the snow worse when she's out on deck, and since she's not feeling as miserable as usual today, maybe it's responding in kind.]

Is it always like this? Or is the snow eventually going to stop? [Part of her isn't sure she knows what she wants the answer to be.] It was summer when I left home, but according to the calendar here, it should be spring by now, shouldn't it?

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[She lingers on deck after making the post, just watching the flurries tumble down over the side of the deck railing, or drift and settle on deck. The air feels warmer than it has been, too, although she supposes that's still more difficult for her to gauge than a normal person. She's only ever been cold once before, and that had been when she'd died during that port. She knows she never wants to feel like that again.

But those memories feel a little far off today. She's still unhappy - she's always unhappy, she hasn't felt really secure or content except for that few hours after she'd run away since she was a child - but it feels more manageable today. It's easier to watch the flakes tumble down and realize how pretty they look against the stars like this, instead of hating them just because she can feel her powers calling out, wanting to make more and join the others.

She can't help it. She waves her hand, and a small spiral of snowflakes fans out from her hands and flutters down to join the others. Nothing bad happens. No one gets hurt.

It's nice, to be able to manage that. For once.]

[ooc: Elsa is not affected, but is curious about this all the same. Feel free to try and force her to talk about stuff anyway!]

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No. [Obviously, and she wonders if it would have been better if Anna had had magic, too. If she'd grown up with someone else who understood what it was like to need to hide.

It's difficult to wish that on Anna.]

How did it save you?

[Morgana hasn't spent much time wishing it on Arthur, but she would certainly fantasize about it, if it occurred to her. But then, Morgana is much more vindictive than Elsa.]

It--

[How did it save her. Did it really save her? She pauses, swallows, finds the truth teasing out of her anyway.] It gave me power. It made me strong enough to stand for what I believe. Before, I could be silenced. After, I made them listen to me. However I had to.

I'd imagine that's a double edged sword.

How do you mean? [She could say yes, easily. But she wants to hear it from Elsa. Sometimes hearing it aloud makes it more real.]

Intimidating people, intentionally or not, often doesn't have the affect you'd hope it would.

[She hadn't really meant to hurt anyone, and they'd still called her a monster, had still wanted to hunt her down and stop her.]

I'm almost used to it.

[To being a monster. She still thinks of herself that way, on occasion. She has tried to embrace it at almost every turn.]

It was the only effect I could have. It was better than nothing.

[She wouldn't know. She doesn't know what she preferred, which version of herself felt better, because even when she felt like a monster, she hadn't been happy. She hadn't accomplished anything.]

What is it like, for people with magic?

[Happiness is another conundrum altogether. Morgana draws in a slow breath, releases it quickly.]

They were rounded up and executed. We called it the Great Purge. For twenty years, my father waged a war on a people who would not fight. They hid and they ran, and when they were caught, they died. Small villages would burn those they suspected of sorcery. My father executed them in the courtyard, and expected his people to rejoice. He claimed he was protecting them from the wickedness of magic, but it was all a lie. He did it for himself, and no one stood against him. Neighbors would stand silent at executions, nobody spoke against him for fear they'd be next. No one was brave enough.

[And she hates them for it, just a little.]

[It's almost everything she's been afraid of since the trolls had told her that fear would be her enemy. Of course that's how it would work out for others like her. Of course.

So she asks the next question fully anticipating the answer, knowing that it's a simple and unpleasant one.]

Why? Why would they do something like that?

[The answer that comes out isn't the one she expected to give, and her brow creases gradually as it spills out.]

They were afraid of their king, and their king was angry at his loss. He blamed magic for the death of his wife, when he knew well enough that he bargained with her life for a son. Death pays for life, he knew the price and still he gambled, and he lost, because he couldn't claim me, because I wasn't born a boy.

[Her throat tightens, but more comes.]

He destroyed thousands of lives out of grief and rage and fear, because he though he could cheat nature--

[It settles uncomfortably in her chest, the gross abuse of power and the fact that this probably isn't uncommon, that if magic were more widespread in her world, someone like this would be trying the same thing.]

Is he still in power?

He's been dead for years now.

[And she's not that sad about it.] His son is king.

[AND SHE'S NOT VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT.]

Does he have the same ideas?

He did what our father told him. He led raids that saw the deaths of women and children.

[But that isn't the whole truth, and more spills out - more she hasn't thought about in years.]

He's not as bad. He didn't out right attack anyone, and I heard tell that he saved a witch who was to be burned in one of his villages. [It's clear by her face that she doesn't want to be saying this, let alone thinking it.]

In the past, he would do the right thing if he was cajoled enough. There was a boy - a young druid - I tried to protect him, but he was captured, to be executed. I had to convince Arthur to free him. I had to convince him because he was too afraid to go against his father.

[She shakes her head.]

He doesn't trust magic. But he hasn't struggled to wipe it out with the same paranoia as our father. That doesn't mean I forgive him his blind obedience.

Have you tried talking to him?

[She feels abruptly guilty, like maybe this is asking too much.]

I'm sorry. I just- This is very different, from my own situation.

[Morgana clenches her jaw and looks away, shaking her head.]

No.

[The word is pulled out of here.] I was too afraid to tell him what I was.

[Because she believed all Uther's lies, too, at least in part.] We went to war instead.

[And he watched Merlin kill her without saying a word, but nbd right. She swallows.]

I'm almost envious of your situation.

Don't be.

[It's immediate, and maybe it's not fair of her to say - it's not like they'd gone to war, but.]

It has its own issues.

Will you tell me them?

[She's not sure if she wants to. It's been easy not to talk about it with anyone - even Dillon hasn't really pushed her on it, for which she's been grateful - but. Maybe she owes her a little bit.]

Being shut away from the rest of the world isn't exactly the best way to spend most of your life.

[There is actual horror on Morgana's face for a moment. Shut away means trapped to her. It means shackles and the bottom of a pit. Two years was madness, but her whole life?]

Who did it?

[She looks more confused than anything else by Morgana's reaction. It had been unfortunate, but necessary. It's not like she'd really been a prisoner, she'd still had almost everything she could ever want.]

No one? It was for everyone's safety.

You were locked away for their safety! Why aren't you angry?

[She should be, her heart should be beating as hard as Morgana's is. Her mind is filling in the details, and she's horrified.]

Because it was for my safety, too. Once everyone found out what I was, they thought I was some kind of monster. I was only supposed to be careful until I learned how to control it, but I just- I couldn't. I didn't know how.

All your life hidden away, how were you supposed to learn?

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