two ❅ video

[bothfoulandfair]

[Elsa doesn't really know enough about how to use her comm to know much about what's going on right now. Actually, she hasn't checked the network much at all in the days since she arrived here, and so she doesn't think to look at it now before making this post.

She's in her room, still in the same dress she was in when she arrived, and she hasn't exactly ventured out or really tried to get to know anyone, but at least she's not completely panicking and falling apart right now, so that's progress.]

I wanted to say thank you, to everyone who tried to help me. [When she arrived. B(]

I appreciate what you were trying to do.

Comments

[private]

[bothfoulandfair]

But it took him just as long as you to actually have magic he could use?

[private]

[orderfromchaos]

Yeah, for all of us. Nothing until fourteen, and then - the whole first year, we weren't using it, it was using us. I'd get mad and things - cities - would just shatter, he'd get scared enough and we'd have a hurricane on our hands.

We straightened a few things out, got a little better at...directing it. But it still feels like riding a wild horse, half the time. Like you've maybe got reigns on the thing but it's a thousand pounds heavier than you, and doesn't like you, and wants to go its own way.

[private]

[bothfoulandfair]

What changed?

[private]

[orderfromchaos]

There were these...god, this sounds dumb. But like, emotional parasites? It was really. Literal.

Mine was destruction. Deanna's was fear. And until we got them out, and fought them, they twisted everything in us.

[private]

[bothfoulandfair]

[Man, if only it was that simple. B(]

You're lucky.

[private]

[orderfromchaos]

[He barks out a laugh, and it's a sound of harsh, wry pain, cut short a moment after it begins.]

Yeah, I guess so. Everything after that was my own damn fault, but it definitely could have been worse.

[private]

[bothfoulandfair]

What do you mean?

[private]

[orderfromchaos]

Just...it wasn't simple. Beating them, it didn't fix everything, it just...gave us a chance. It wasn't fighting to hurt all the time, but the power was still so much bigger than us. And I'd try to use it, because I could see things that needed fixing, things I'd broken, half the time. Only it always seemed to end up worse, and it made people scared and crazy and hopeless, and we all made a lot of mistakes.

I'm still trying to make things right, really.

[private]

[bothfoulandfair]

I see.

[She doesn't say "I understand", because she's not sure how much she wants people to know, how much she can trust them. Whether or not she actually wants to be understood at all anymore.]

[private]

[orderfromchaos]

You never told me your name.

[Which - he could find it in one of the other conversations, probably. But that feels a little weird.]

[private]

[bothfoulandfair]

It's Elsa.

[private]

[orderfromchaos]

[He doesn't say 'nice to meet you', because, well, they only met because she's in prison. It seems like kind of a jerk thing to say. But.]

Thanks for listening.

[He means it, too. Not a lot of people really do, in his experience.]

[private]

[bothfoulandfair]

You're welcome.

[She feels like she should give something more, but at the same time, she isn't sure she wants to talk about any of it.

Still, she manages a small smile.]

[private]

[orderfromchaos]

I'll see you around, Elsa.

[private]

[bothfoulandfair]

I'm sure you will. [Assuming she decides to leave her room, anyway. B(]